Why Christians Don’t Like Themselves

Over the years, I have observed that many Christians do not like themselves. I believe I have discovered one of the main reasons why. They are looking at themselves in the mirror of the law instead of seeing themselves in Christ.

In Romans 7, Paul describes his life under the law and how it exposed his sinfulness and inability to overcome it. He failed time and again, even when he was giving his best. The harder he tried, the more he sinned.

Notice what he concluded about himself:

But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

Romans 7:23-24

When anyone, even the apostle Paul, looks at themselves in the mirror of the law, all they see is their sin, which makes them loathe themselves. When they try harder to do better, they end up sinning more, which confirms what they already believe about themselves—that they are a miserable wretch. The law is designed for this purpose. It exposes sin:

Therefore by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is the knowledge of sin.

Romans 3:20

When the Galatians came under law, Paul asked them a revealing question:

Where then is that sense of blessing you had? For I testify about you that, if possible, you would have torn out your eyes and given them to me.

Galatians 4:15 NASB

When the Galatians believed the gospel and understood they were righteous as a gift, they felt so blessed that it made them loving and generous. However, when they came under the law, that sense of blessing vanished, along with their love. They became hateful people, even biting and devouring one another:

But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!

Galatians 5:15

When someone believes they have been freely made right with God as a gift, the Holy Spirit produces good fruit in their life. They experience supernatural love, joy, peace, etc.

However, if they come back under the law, it shuts down the power of the Spirit, and the focus is back on the person’s performance, which is never good enough.

I went through this exact thing. When I got saved, I was so full of love and joy it overflowed into every area of my life. I became fruitful in the things of God and naturally walked in increasing holiness. But when I came under law, it all dried up. I became a miserable, hateful, and judgmental person.

My leaders told me I was maturing. They explained that the ‘honeymoon phase’ of my walk with God was over. But they lied. The truth is I came under a false gospel that shut down the fruit of the Spirit in my life and brought me under a curse. Since I looked like everyone else in the church, no one noticed.

Like Paul, I thank God for freeing me from that miserable life and bringing me back to the finished work of Jesus:

O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Romans 7:24-25a

In Romans 8, just a few verses later, Paul explains there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus (see Rom. 8:1). Believers who see themselves without condemnation tend to like themselves more than those under the law.

If you consistently behold yourself in the mirror of the law, you will feel condemned and loathe yourself.

If you consistently behold yourself in Christ—totally free from all condemnation, you will feel blessed and like yourself.

The law reveals your spots and wrinkles. It shows you flaws you never even knew you had. But in Christ, you are flawless! You are without spots, wrinkles, and blemishes:

Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.

Colossians 1:22 NLT

It is not easy to believe you are a holy and blameless person with no faults and conclude you are still a wretch. At one time, you were a miserable sinner, but no longer. Jesus’ blood has made you perfect forever (see Heb 10:14).

May the Holy Spirit firmly establish you in these truths as you continue looking in the mirror of grace, not law. Never forget that you only look so good because of Jesus. Therefore, be sure to give God all the glory.

Extract from Journey Into the New Creation, pp. 239-241.